Christmas Expectations
What are your expectations for Christmas and the holidays? We are flooded with messages that point to unrealistic promises of an idyllic season filled with perfect surroundings, food, presents and gatherings. While there is beauty to be found in this season, our reality may be quite different than what we see on social media, programs, and movies.
Some people are dealing with loss or hardships that lead to emotional numbness— with little or no expectation of meaning or joy. Others try to lose themselves in the trappings and parties of the season that may have little or nothing to do with the simple message of Christmas.
We are prone to set ourselves up for disappointment, hurt feelings, and even anger because of this. Ultimately, we come to realize that our plans can’t measure up to the standards we have heard and accepted.
I pray that you will enjoy peaceful and meaningful moments and experiences this Christmas. With that stated, I can almost guarantee that nothing we hope for in the holidays will totally live up to our imagined hopes.
Perhaps it’s time to change the focus of our expectations. Often, circumstances force us to do just that. It has for us this year:
Our family experienced the unexpected passing of my brother in November. It is a loss that hit us hard, even with the knowledge that we will see him again someday. This holiday season will be difficult for his wife and family, as well as for all of us who knew and loved him. Our celebrations will be marked by remembrances of Tom, with both sadness at his passing and thankfulness for the years we had with him.
My wife is prevailing like a champion through chemotherapy after surgery in late October. Through this journey she has steadfastly kept her focus on and hope in God. She has repeatedly told me that she is grateful for each day and looks forward to what God is doing and will do. Her healing has been remarkable, and the next treatment is 2 days before Christmas, so we are being careful with our plans.
Most of our family will be out of town for Christmas, traveling and visiting in-laws, cousins, and friends. Because of a snowstorm that came through our area we moved our family’s before-Christmas celebration from our place to our son and daughter-in-law’s house to make it a shorter and safer commute for everyone. Flexibility and adaptation have been the rule for us this year.
Each season we have a choice to make. We either strive to live up to false expectations or roll with the flow and enjoy what God puts before us. This year I had to let go of my predetermined expectations and instead invite and allow God to reorient my thinking and experience of the season. I needed to be set free of the false expectations I had unconsciously accepted. There is an old Christmas carol written by Charles Wesley that has become my prayer for the season:
“Come, thou long expected Jesus,
born to set thy people free;
from our fears and sins release us,
let us find our rest in thee….”
We can be set free of the chains of unrealized expectations and the resulting brokenness when we invite Jesus to come into our lives and Christmas experiences in a fresh and deeper way. Surrendering our experiences involves the everyday—and often every moment— choice to rest in His love above and beyond the pressures, false expectations, and hurts this season can surface. God always honors that choice and answers us when we look to Him. You may had heard or read this verse before, but it still rings true:
“When you seek me, You will find me, when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29)
When we truly seek God— in the person of Jesus Christ— above all else, we will experience Him in a real, life-changing way. It is the expectation we can count on, this Christmas and throughout life. The key to finding peace and meaning in a chaotic and unfulfilling world is found in the words of an old hymn:
“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace”
I pray that you will seek and find God by looking to Jesus in an even deeper way this Christmas.
God bless you!
Chris Atkins